YoG No. 49 – “Keano is a Pox”

Regardless of the outcome of Tuesday’s meaningless game against Poland, there is only one question to be answered. Should Martin O’Neill fire Roy Keane or should John Delaney sack them both? A change is now needed, and given the tendency for the FAI to only wake up several months after each regime has become untenable, we’re guaranteed scenario 2 will not happen.

Which brings us to Roy Keane. I think after all that has emerged in recent weeks, that it is time for his affair with Ireland to finally end. It’s been wonderful at times, tortuous to the verge of tragic at others, but Roy, for the good of Irish football, I think it is time to finally end this relationship. Go back to your click-bait love/hate-ins with Ian Wright on ITV and leave us the hell alone… and thanks for the memories (most of them anyway).

I had high hopes for this management team, I really did. I may have been naive and I may have been desperate after the calamitous collapse of the Trappatoni regime in 2012, but aren’t we all filled with idealistic notions at the start of any relationship. We must also be reasonable in that they did deliver for some time. From 2015 to the end of 2016, this was working. Some special nights and a hint of progress was seen. This must be viewed, however, in the very cold light of day. We got out of a qualifying group in 3rd place – a route unavailable previously – and then got out of the Euros group also in 3rd place. We also seem to have, as a nation, removed the Belgian fiasco in Bordeaux completely from our memory, let alone some of the turgid dirt that we scraped through with, against the likes of Scotland and Georgia, and some of the results we needed to go our way. Anyway, on we marched and by the end of 2016 we had beaten Austria away, drawn in Serbia and seemed destined to win our group. Then it all went to shit, absolute shit. The win in Cardiff was a great result which should never have been needed, and the play-off 2nd leg said it all.

The O’Neill / Keano combo had had its day. Last Thursday should be the final nail in its coffin, but it probably won’t be. Either way, Roy Keane has to go. To fall out with two players like Walters and Arter is unforgivable. How the fuck is an Assistant even given that level of involvement? How is he let talk to players like that? In any job, if the second in command lost 2 key personnel, it would be he or she about whom questions would be asked. In addition to this, if that is the level of toxicity around this squad, then how would that influence Declan Rice. Or any of the other players for that matter?

Arter is no Roy Keane. He’s probably just about Matt Holland in terms of ability, but we are screaming out for premier league players, and we lost 2 in a week. This is ridiculous and I’m certain that many other players lack the motivation and that cliched boring hackneyed “spirit” that some (mainly across the water) always talk about. Roy Keane is beyond a shadow of a doubt, responsible for an element of this.

He divides opinion, always has, always will. Many leap to his defence with really boring views such as:

1. It’s a man’s game – Arter should man up!
2. He’s the best we’ve ever had and we should be aiming for his level
3. Fuck the FAI, it’s all Delaney’s fault

On 1, yes it is a man’s game, the men’s part of it at least, but this is an absolute bullshit argument in favour of the most base, macho, chauvinistic, cliched, chest-beating, ape-like behaviour imaginable. No-one should be called a “prick” and a “wanker” as Arter was in June. It doesn’t matter where you work – and remember this is not even WORK for Arter, it’s international duty. “Men” are not all the same. Some need the banter and the ribbing and the “hard man” nonsense to get through – mainly because they are ill-formed insecure little boys on the inside who failed to grow up. Many men – even footballers, YES EVEN PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALLERS – need the exact opposite. Harry Arter has been through a personal tragedy the likes of which no-one should ever experience, so when some ex-player who is failing miserably at his own job, calls him a prick, he sees the perspective and tells the entire organisation to fuck off. So would I.

Pro-Keane Argument 2 – he’s the best and he’s always pushing Ireland to be better. Bollox! We had great teams and great performances before Roy Keane, without Roy Keane, and after Roy Keane. I completely agree that his impact at times was phenomenal and dragged us out of the dirt in some campaigns, but let’s not get carried away here. We qualified twice with Roy Keane in the squad. He wasn’t central to some golden period in Irish football history. He was by far our best player, which I cannot say enough times, but he didn’t always inspire greatness in others like some claim. He may have inspired fear, but, reaching play-offs regularly notwithstanding, the only real campaign where you may argue that he dragged us to the next level was in 2002. Even then, I feel the presence of Shay Given, Damien Duff and Robbie Keane all at their peaks may have had something to do with that success as well, and sure wasn’t he injured himself when these “lesser men” went to Tehran for the second leg and saw it out in front of 100,000 welcoming Iranians. It takes more than fear to inspire. It takes more than leading by example as well. You need to be able to transmit that to lesser players and Roy Keane never universally did that anywhere. He was the best player in a very good Ireland team, which proved its worth in his absence, and the best player in a brilliant Man Utd team.  In both cases, I have no doubt he made some players better, but his approach does not work with all of them. In his current post, it is bloody obvious he is inspiring the sum total of sweet-fuck-all from this group.

The 3rd argument is less clear. Delaney wanted box-office from Keano and O’Neill. Now he’s truly got it. Unlike what he maybe had in mind, this offering has turned into some cheap, tacky Channel 5 celebrity reality show. Even the die-hards are tuning out now. It’s time for the final curtain to fall.

The fact that the brand of football is utter shite does not help. The senior team is now playing the most backward, pig-ignorant, dinosaur tactics of any team in this country. The League of Ireland has better football. The women’s teams play better football. The Schoolboys teams play better football. That old phrase “you wouldn’t see the likes of that in the Phoenix Park” has been turned on its head. It’s still right. No self-respecting Leinster Senior League team would dare churn out some of the crap that passes for football as churned out at the Aviva.

Roy Keane also has the highest profile of any assistant manager in world football. Why does he do Press? Why is he having such conversations with the players? Why is he always in the news every international week? Do a little quiz there yourself. Ask yourself who Jack’s assistant was? Now ask who Mick McCarthy’s was? They’re not difficult questions for most Irish soccer fans, but some of you might not have gotten both. Some may have had to think a bit. But I do guarantee you one thing – you’re struggling to imagine their voices, and there’s no way in hell you can recall either of them doing a press conference.

Box-office indeed. It’s time for change. Sack them both on Wednesday, but if John Delaney can’t bring himself to do that, perhaps advise Mr O’Neill that the services of Mr Keane are no longer required. The 3rd option, of course, is for Delaney to sack Keane and make Martin choose to walk or not. Now that would really be interesting… never gonna happen though. Expect a re-post in October!!!

(P.S.the title of the post is just a pun on the famous “Bono is a Pox” which is scrawled all over Dublin, and is a common meme by this stage. I don’t really mean it!)