This weekend, Liverpool and Man City continued to crack under pressure in this most intense title race of all time ever. The Reds stumbled to a routine 3-0 home victory over a an amateur Bournemouth side who’d never met each other before kick-off, in which 3 or 4 further excellent chances were pathetically and disgracefully squandered, while the Sky Blue City demolished London minnows Chelsea by a mere 6-0. Shambles. A decent side would’ve won by 8.
Liverpool were so awful, a shadow of the already useless team who have managed to be top of the league for 2 months despite playing terribly all season since day one (4-0 vs West Ham). They are still level with City with a game in hand even though they have been in crisis for the past month, since being battered 2-1 away to the “greatest team to have ever played in England”, a result determined by massive margins of millimetres and which in no way could have possibly turned out any different.
Since that day, City and their hilariously nicknamed Pep Fraudiola have also retaken top spot despite being exposed for the total charlatans that they are by the part-timers of Newcastle United (the 19th richest club on Earth) . This followed defeat by Leicester, who haven’t won a single trophy since the Premier League title in 2016, and Crystal Palace who never beat anyone decent ever, except every so often when they play them.
Liverpool boss Jurgen Flopp, again (high-larious), denies that by maintaining top spot alongside a team that garnered more than 100 points last season, while being on course for the clubs highest ever points total, they are in fact “bottling it”. Notwithstanding the fact that nobody seems to be capable of defining “bottling” or “it”, this term now seems to mean “not losing to anyone ever apart from the greatest team in history”, or “drawing 2 matches”. We’re not quite sure.
What we are sure of is that Man City have 11 games left to save their season while Liverpool have 12. We are also sure that whoever does not win the title this season should immediately undertake massive surgery on all of their footballing and non-footballing operations. The manager will need to be sacked. What is known as a “clear-out” of the oft-derided “dead wood” will be required. Some “period of transition” will ensue in which the culture of the club which includes the Academy system and their scouting department will be remodelled from scratch. Some may even go so far as to change their moisturising partner, so Adam Lallana will shit himself.
The only alternative to the above is to accept that football is a game played all year long around the world by millions of teams. Some teams win things. Others don’t. You have good days and you have bad days. If Liverpool win the league, it won’t be because Guardiola is useless. If City win it, it’s not because Klopp is naive. No one can “bottle it” against either of these teams, they can only simply lose the race. Chill out everyone. Relax, Calm down. It’s a title race being played out by 2 of the best sides we’ve seen in England for a while. The record points scorers against the Champions League finalists from last year. Enjoy it. I’m a Liverpool fan and the stress has been enormous over the last few weeks. But for almost 30 years, with a few exceptions, I’ve been desperate to feel that stress. So bring it on. It may be ages before it happens again. But please, not every kick of the ball is a turning point, or a crisis, or evidence of epic failure. Its just football as it always has been.
Oh and I suppose I should mention Spurs…
A Yard of Grass 